Lani, it will be your birthday a few days from now, on March 1. I have tried so very hard to pretend your journey didn’t come to a sudden end in December, that you will once again be at the end of the phone, that the thoughtful, witty, kind and so very appreciated cards, letters, messages and emails from you will still be coming.

Sadly, as it does, denial has changed nothing. You are gone and yet still here, with your darling, beloved Mau - it’s just that now you will live on in our treasured memories of you both. It seems cold comfort, yet we had so very many of these wonderful and cherished times together.

From the first time I met you in a bar in Haileybury in our teens to the last time I saw you a week before you left us - knowing you has been one of the great joys of my life. Your kindness, generosity, humour and passion were giant-sized, all of it packed into such a tiny frame.

We lived together in Vancouver and I have visited you in, I believe, every different home you have had. Your friendship has been an anchor in my life, your fierce and unwavering support and keen intelligence has helped carry me through my own life, making dark times brighter and bringing much shared joy in celebrations.

I wish you had not left us, Lani, I really do. You did it on your own terms, just the way you lived every moment of your fabulous life, and that I wouldn’t have had any other way. I will always love you. Sleep softly, dear heart, with your beloved♥️.

Lani was tenacious and fiercely spirited, perfectly self-deprecating, yet unwavering and unwilling to compromise on all the right things. I have so many fond memories of her and of her deep, enduring friendship with my mom, Barbara Young. They were complete opposites, yet somehow it worked beautifully.

I am endlessly grateful to Lani for helping to keep me alive as a tiny baby, living with my mom when my dad had to travel for school during the weekdays. That care and steadiness defined her in so many ways. I also treasure our memories at the cottage and also of visiting her in London and later in Stratford, always surrounded by her beloved dogs—Buddy, Bob, Bourbon, and Mr. Happy—and, of course, by the great love of her life, Mau. I am heartbroken by her departure, but comforted knowing that she and Mau are now reunited.

I love you, Lani. You were the very best godmother, and I promise to keep your memory alive within my own family and with my boys, who adored you so much.

Forever your Jools.